Monday, December 26, 2011

10, 222 days and counting...

2011 First Pres Advent Workshop
I first met her when I was 14 years old. My good friend Bill Perkins invited me to his Anglican Church youth group in Spanish Town, the old capital of Jamaica. It was a Friday evening in the summer of 1974, when Bill introduced me to Judith Thomson. I was a rather shy kid at that time and did not have the conversational ease like many of my friends. But that was not a problem for Judith. She was kind, friendly, loved to laugh and was very interested in knowing more about me. We became fast friends. Our families were very comfortable with each other and this paved the way for us to become soul mates.

After almost 10 years of friendship and learning how to develop friendship with God, we got married in 1983. We both wanted to do something unconventional and so we married on December 24th. People in America are always shocked when they discover our wedding date. But a Jamaican wedding on Christmas Eve in 1983 was really not a big deal. We did not have a lot of money any way, and we were vehemently against going into debt just to have a splashy wedding. After a simple wedding ceremony at my Pentecostal church, we drove around in a friend's brand new Red Corvette and then went back to my house for our wedding reception.

On Christmas Eve (2011), Judith and I sang a duet in church. I was nervous because we hadn't sung together in quite sometime. Back in the 80's and 90's Judith and I often sang together in churches, weddings, and always at home. But it was still a great feeling to sing in church.

Making music is great metaphor for marriage. In order to perform the duet we had to take several important steps:
1. Agree on a song
2. Practice, practice, practice
3. Allow the other person to make mistakes, then stop and try again
4. Determine who sings melody and who sings harmony.
5. Determine the solo parts and the duet parts

Our twenty-eight years of marriage resembles a duet. Trying to find agreement or unity on everything we do; trying to practice what we preach, not just publicly (that's the easy part), but privately, when no one is home with us, except God. We try to remember that we are flawed human beings. We make mistakes and so we often stop and pray; talk and forgive, and then try again. We have different roles; we go back and forth with all our duties in the home and in life. We are in this covenant for life and for keeps and we do whatever is needed to make things work. Cleaning the bathrooms, washing dishes, caring for our children (especially when they were younger), taking out the trash, raking leaves, or grocery shopping.

People smirk at the thought that God in heaven has a special person for each human being. I know it sounds silly, but I firmly believe that in the plan of God, Judith was destined to be my wife, and I was destined to be her husband. My one desire now is to go the distance; bring glory to God through our lives and continue making "music" that blesses our children and all our friends. Happy Anniversary Judith! With God's help let's  go another 365 days!

Question: What do you do to make beautiful "music" in your marriage?